Pick. Drop. Flush
Pick it up. Drop it in. Pull the handle.
Fold the paper twice the size of the palm, gently pull the fingers together, lift.
Turn the palm upward, balance carefully until over the bowl, release.
Reach for the handle and pull to flush.
Turn the palm upward, balance carefully until over the bowl, release.
Reach for the handle and pull to flush.
Remove 15 squares of toilet paper; fold it over itself every 5 squares asymmetrically creating a large amorphous shape maintaining double coverage at all times; place on top of shit; with hand on paper, gently squeeze the fingers together until you feel a slight squish, being careful not to squeeze too hard; lift; slowly turn the palm upward but with enough force as to not lose grip.
With the palm upward, move swiftly towards the toilet bowl, careful to not drop the prize and trip resulting in unfortunate accident (poo to face).
When destination toilet is reached, stretch hand out over bowl, and aim through the seat; in a quick action, release the grip and hope for the best.
Admire your handy work of missing the toilet seat; pause for a moment to swear at the dog; catch whiff; gag (who has the power in this relationship?); move other hand to rest on the handle; push down; release; flush.
With the palm upward, move swiftly towards the toilet bowl, careful to not drop the prize and trip resulting in unfortunate accident (poo to face).
When destination toilet is reached, stretch hand out over bowl, and aim through the seat; in a quick action, release the grip and hope for the best.
Admire your handy work of missing the toilet seat; pause for a moment to swear at the dog; catch whiff; gag (who has the power in this relationship?); move other hand to rest on the handle; push down; release; flush.